For Christmas, my mom bought me
a Limited stone washed Jean Jacket
with poufed sleeves, that jacket was bad
I mean 1980's bad.

Then my mom gave me a perm - not a curl,
spiral, or wave – but a geometric, a fleeting trend
a CRIMP – my hair formerly docile and limp
became big zig-zagged kinks pointing to the outer limits.

Then this crimp and me – we had to go to school.
I imagined what names I would be called: freak, geek
alien, weirdo. I would be ignored by even the most uncool.
I was doomed. I was the only kid in the city with a crimp.

When I went to the bus stop – no one said a word to me
the kids eyes went big; they just stared at my big crooked hair.
Then big Trent said, "Did you stick your finger in an electric socket.";
he laughed, "Can I touch your hair." His fingers glided over ridgey bends.

"That's so cool – you gotta touch her hair." At school that day,
I was the feature attraction. 8th graders were talking to me.
100 kids must have touched my blonde kinky fro.
This shrimp yelled "Electricity head!" I didn't care.

My hair was bad. 1980s Bad.

(c) Kimberly Simms 2003

Small Spaces

Women live in small spaces,
in corners, in the backs of drawers,
in shoe boxes under beds.
Someone said, “Clean yourself away;
there’s no room for you here.
People need this space: children and men.”
But it was never a question, never a decision.
One day you just wake up
and wonder, “Where have I gone?”

Do you remember when you were ten;
back when you were huge;
when you were a dancer, a soccer player;
when you made boys play house
and mom was the most sought after role?
Do you remember when you cut out
huge construction paper hearts
and scrawled I Love You
in bold, black letters?

It starts when as a teenager
women starve themselves for Twiggy idols.
It starts when being beautiful
means everything. If you were just prettier.
When does finding a man become
the biggest obsession? When do women start
thinking, “If I had just been more understanding,
tried harder, persevered longer,
he would have loved me. . .”

When do women start scurrying
themselves away;
when do women start becoming smaller;
when do women start putting
themselves away in the backs of drawers
and shoe boxes under beds;
when do women start creeping into corners;
when do women start living
in small spaces.

(c) Kimberly Simms 1997